A fine line

I have spent today wondering, is it possible to both love and hate your friends all at the same time? I have come to the conclusion that the answer to this puzzling question is yes! I know how wrong it is to admit it, but yes at times my friends can be deplorable.

I honestly don’t think they realise how badly they behave at times, or maybe I have become overly sensitive, I am not really sure! I think the problem really lies in the fact that I have let them behave in a certain manor for so long that is has just become second nature for me to accept it. From tomorrow onwards I will no longer be accepting their self-absorbed attitudes, no longer will I allow myself to be used for the cause of the greater good, I will not make myself available at all hours for things that are not really important!

I also acknowledge that this is not a one sided problem, I myself can be very difficult to deal with at times. Most of these difficult times have been due to recent issues that have developed in my life. It just seems as though when it comes time for people to help me all their resources have been depleted.

I hope I have the courage to stand true to these convictions, I know once I start to change these things I may lose some closeness with some people and that saddens me. It has come to a point though where I must start putting myself first; making sure my life is put together, I fear if I don’t I will reach a point I am not coming back from.