The times, they are a changing!

I have one suggestion for anybody reading this who is trying to escape from the crazy world they have built for themselves. Do not spend the day with someone who is fifteen years your junior and more in touch with reality than you are.

I started out my day hoping that spending some time with my niece would be just the change I needed, but I have ended the day with far more anxiety than I had to begin with. Never had I realised before that fifteen years had become such a big gap, I was still under the assumption that I understood and spoke the language of youth fluently.

Whilst we were in the shopping centre my niece came across some of her friends from school, I listened as they spoke, hearing words I never knew existed, combinations of words that should have not been conjoined, gestures I did not understand and excessive use of the word 'like'. All of a sudden I found myself trying to communicate in the same manner, after about two minutes it hit me. I have become my Mother, here I was using current slang in what I imagine was the totally wrong context, all in a desperate attempt to sound cool and seem young.

I am a month away from my twenty-fifth birthday, does this process of becoming my Mother really begin now? Does the next generation of identity really begin at ten? I remember it happening at maybe sixteen or seventeen, did I begin this process later than most or is it just all happening earlier now? All I knew was that I had to stop talking and plan my escape or I faced the prospect of being mocked by ten year olds!

As the day progressed things did not improve! My niece offered me one of the breath mints she had, once I had placed it in my mouth I mentioned that it tasted like licking the adhesive section of an envelope. She looked up at me with confusion and asked, "Why would you lick an envelope?" I then muttered a statement that made me feel more like her Grandmother than her Aunt. "Back when I was your age envelopes and stamps were not self-adhesive, you had to lick them first before they stuck" I then realised the situation gets worse, not only would she never have to lick an envelope or a stamp, but both were pretty much obsolete to her generation. In a world of e-mail and IM what need would she ever have for either?

Tonight I am feeling as though twenty-five has become the new old! I am filled with shame to admit that I think I have created a new ritual to add to my ever-growing compulsion list.

The search for signs of age ritual was a two-hour process, which has ended with hair dye being added to my shopping list.